Lately, I’ve been saying “no” a lot.
And if you’re looking for a post that will tell you how amazing and empowering that feels—this is not it.
Saying no often feels terrible. It makes my stomach ache, makes me want to curl in on myself and throw up. Saying no means facing the fear of being disliked, of being replaced, the guilt of not doing enough, of being difficult.
And sometimes I question whether this discomfort is even worth the hours of my life I get back.
But I urge you to examine: When you say yes to the things you don’t want, what are you actually saying no to? Your dreams? Your health? A life worth living, not just surviving?
I know what awaits down the “constant yes” path. It’s not just fatigue and resentment. When you refuse to refuse long enough, your body ends up doing it for you, and often it’s a one-way ticket.
They say that saying NO is a muscle you need to train until your inner self starts believing it’s safe to do so.
Until then, you need to hold her through the fear and guilt. Talk gently to her like you would to a child. Give her reassurance and little treats. And envelope her in love only you can give, like she is your bestest friend. Because eventually she will become one, when she can confidently say no for the both of you.
And if you’ve been waiting for a sign—this is your permission to say no.
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A. ZAYKOVA 